Anthropology and a Hundred Other Stories

Although he started it third and finished it second, this was Dan Rhodes’ first book to be published. While glamorously begun on a Vietnamese public bus from Kon Tum to Danang (the story ‘Milestones’), it was mainly written between October 1997 and November 1998, while he was working on Cherry Gardens Farm in Kent/Sussex border country in the south of England. Rhodes would devise and draft the stories while tying in rows of raspberries or picking gooseberries, often in the driving rain. The book consists of 101 very short pieces about the ins and outs of the modern romance. Here are some things people have said about it:

  
       
  Anthropology is very funny and very sharp.
The Times		  
 
  A book you’ll want to hurl from rooftops at passers-by to spread the word.
Uncut		  
 
  Touching and insightful... you’ll want to devour every one.
Heat		  
 
  Effortless to read, amusing and yet coloured by a deep sadness about the passing of things, you will want to hold on to the truths it so skillfully offers for as long as you would to love.
The Independent 		 
 
  Anybody who liked There’s Something About Mary will love Rhodes’ book, and that’s a strange thing to be able to say about a piece of conceptual art.
LA Weekly		  
 
  Anthropology is a gleaming box of jazzy miniatures. Exquisitely funny.
The Guardian		  
 
  101 stories, all about girlfriends. They cheat, they die, they leave (frequently) and they name their daughters Lesbian. The funny ones are all the funnier for being brief; the sad ones all the sadder for being sparse. Every one a 20-second gem. ***** Maxim  
 
  What could have been a wallowing work of extreme bitterness is instead the most wonderful, dark, hysterical book since Struwwelpeter – written more than 100 years ago. Anthropology should be compulsory for anyone who is, ever has been, or one day will be, in a relationship. It only takes half an hour to read through. It could be the most enjoyable half hour you’ll have for some time. *****
The Big Issue (North) 		 
 
  Rhodes articulates everyone’s worst intimacy nightmares... he should be commended for his economy of words and his outrageous humor.
New York Times		  
 
  A hilarious exploration of the challenges faced by the fairer sex. Despite being written from a male perspective, it will entertain any woman who can laugh at her own foibles.
The Times		  
 
  Almost like Barthes’ "A Lovers’ Discourse", but rewritten so that it makes sense to the rest of us... full of wonderful contradictions and idiocies. What really makes the entire collection enjoyable is the fact that each absurd situation is, against all odds, believable – so maybe it’s not likely that anyone would meet their death from being thrown from a ceiling fan, but, goddammit, it’s possible. What makes the book border on beautiful is the extent of emotion that the narrator feels for each woman, however misguided.
Newcity, Chicago		  
 
  Rhodes’s stories have all the punch of a good one-panel cartoon.
Washington Post		  
 
  I cannot express to you how much this book delighted me. Go and read it.
The Big Issue		  
 
 

Now you can try before you buy. Here are some stories from the book:











These boards are from the 2006 Small Wonder Short Story Festival at Charleston in Sussex. Thanks to Mez, Tess, Caroline and all our other Charleston pals for these.


ALL EDITIONS



ITALY, Le Vespe. ISBN: 8883790006

This was the first edition of any Dan Rhodes book to be published, on Valentine’s day 2000, and a very handsome thing it is too.




US, Villard/Random House. ISBN 0375504214

This great-looking hardback was Rhodes’ US debut, and it probably remains the most famous edition of any of his books, on account of it being fleetingly seen on Carrie Bradshaw’s desk in an episode of Sex And The City (Baby, Talk Is Cheap - season 4, episode 54). A fine edition, this is NOT to be confused with the nasty paperback look-alike at the bottom of this list.

NB: The email address on this edition no longer works. Rhodes was very grateful for all the investment tips and pharmaceutical recommendations his devoted readers were sending him, but it all got a bit much after a while.




US, Canongate. ISBN:184195649X

This is the current US edition of the book. Rhodes is known to have downwards of a dozen avid readers in the US, and this saucy volume is a must-buy for all of them. The "True Love Stories" element of the subtitle is a homage to/rip-off of the classic album True Love Stories by Jilted John, AKA John Shuttleworth – versatile singer-songwriter from Sheffield, South Yorkshire. Why not pour yourself a midmorning Malibu and enter his world right here? We particularly recommend that you go to the audio page and download, free and legally, the Mark Radcliffe version of the song "Two Margarines".




UK, Canongate. ISBN: 1841956147

Spot the difference… This is the current UK edition, and very nice it is too. We dream of it one day appearing in a slim format for £2.99. It would sell a million. NB: The title page of this edition states that Anthropology was first published by HarperCollins. This isn’t the case. It was first published by F***** E***** when they were independent. This is true of DTMTTAL too. Just so you know.




UK, F***** E*****. ISBN: 1841151939

This hardback is very nicely designed by Chris Shamwana, with red and blue ink inside.




UK, QPD. No ISBN

Although it looks exactly the same as the one above, this is a paperback book club edition. We assure you that the next one will look very different, so please scroll down.




ISRAEL, Kinneret. ISBN: 9652866555

Yes, this one looks very different. A cracking edition from one of the few countries in the world to be named after a song by Siouxsie & the Banshees.




NETHERLANDS, Vassallucci. ISBN 9050001653

Back with the loo-sign theme for this hardback edition. The next book will look significantly different. Keep going for a treat.




RUSSIA, Eksmo. ISBN: 5699081089

Well, what can we say? This jacket is a magnificent addition to the Rhodes canon, and a must read for all Russians, volcanologists and otherwise. The word is that it’s done pretty well there.




SWEDEN, Lind & Co.. ISBN: 9189538536

A handsome hardback. The book has been renamed "Shipwreck" for this edition.




SWEDEN, Lind & Co.. ISBN: 918953879X

And now a handsome paperback, another "Shipwreck".




UK, F***** E*****. ISBN: 1841151947

A double-sided design, with the bar code slapped on the spine. The new pink edition is recommended above this one.




FINLAND, Sammakko. ISBN: 9524830108

Speaking of pink editions, here’s one all the way from Finland.




PORTUGAL, Gotica. ISBN: 9727920802

If it’s an enormous edition of Anthropology you’re after, look no further. This beauty is about the size of a briefcase.

Last, and very definitely least, we bring you this monstrosity…




US, Villard/Random House. ISBN: 0812992237

Don’t be fooled by this edition’s superficial resemblance to the admirable hardback towards the top of the page. Here is the story of this sorry paperback:

Some time after Anthropology’s appearance in hardback, Rhodes was contacted by his US publisher and told that they would not be publishing the book in paperback. This was, of course, a disappointment, but ultimately just another dip on the rollercoaster that is the showbiz life. However, several months after this email, Rhodes was alerted by an acquaintance to a new US paperback edition. Investigation revealed that without his permission, and WITHOUT EVEN TELLING HIM THEY WERE DOING IT, Random House had printed a short run paperback edition of the book, which they were selling on line for $15. This wouldn’t be so bad, were it not for two things:

1. They had explicitly told him there would be no paperback edition, and had not made any attempt to contact him about this extraordinary volte-face

and

2. This edition is an abomination. It is not only the worst edition of any Rhodes book ever, but productionwise it is probably the worst-quality book ever published by a supposedly reputable house. It is an amateurishly Xeroxed, stretched-type nightmare that wouldn’t even pass muster as a galley.

Not a coup for author-publisher relations.

However, the story has a happy ending. Rhodes screamed at Random House at the top of his lungs until they returned the rights of the book to him. Then his wily agent (his own dark side) wangled a new deal, which resulted in the fine pink US edition you can see above. Phew.

If anybody reading this owns a copy of the edition-from-hell (i.e. the Villard paperback), they are now able to upgrade. Return it to Dan Rhodes, c/o Canongate Books, 14 High Street, Edinburgh EH1 1TE, UK, and he will send you, at his own expense, a much much nicer, signed edition (English language, unless you request otherwise). Also, to make up for the time and expense of shipping, he will include a signed edition of one of his other books.

Nobody should have spent their hard-earned money on such a low-quality object. We hope this offer will restore some kind of balance to the universe. (In fact it already has – immediately after finalising this offer we found out that they are at last releasing DVD box sets of Sabrina The Teenage Witch. Surely there is some connection.)

MISSING EDITION:

HUNGARY. Rhodes has been trying to track down a copy of the Szukits Kiado edition of Anthropology for some years, to no avail. Maybe it exists, maybe it doesn’t. I wonder if we’ll ever know…