News & Tour Dates – April/May 2008



Hello everyone. Another update, another first for danrhodes.co.uk - this time it’s a two-for-one bonanza as we merge the months of April and May. We are planning on spending the next few weeks doing very little apart from giggling and brushing each other’s hair, so the chances of us getting any new stuff up here before June are zero to negligible. So here goes.

We’ll start by lazily repeating two bits of news from the last update, both of which we think are worth re-telling:

1. GOLD is now out in a brand new paperback edition. As well as looking magnificent, it is also free of the endearing printing errors of the first edition.

2. GOLD has won the Clare Maclean Prize. Yet another reason to read it.

With the new edition out, there’s been another round of reviews. Let’s see what people had to say this time:

Gold is a funny little novel, both humorous and strange... There’s real fun to be had. The Observer.

Any good? Oh, very. Hilarious – complementing the jokes is a lovely strain of melancholy. Sunday Herald

Rhodes has a quirky talent for teasing the comic out of the mundane in this engaging, witty novel. Daily Mail

Even The Guardian’s Saturday Review section has made a confident stride towards redemption following their incomprehensible babbling of last year: Gold adroitly mines the potential of a remote community with its range of idiosyncratic residents. Rhodes has created a memorable cast of oddities. And just in case it all gets too whimsical there’s nothing like the threat of incipient heartbreak to inject a sense of realism.

So there you are. More reviews live here. If you still have no intention of reading Gold, we suggest you find the nearest mirror, stare deep into your empty eyes and ask yourself ‘Why?’

April has also seen the publication of Kulta, the Finnish edition of Gold, and a handsome volume it is too:

Apart from Canongate, Rhodes’ Finnish publisher, Sammakko, are the only people on earth to put out all his books, and in honour of this he has written an exclusive Finland-only passage. Rhodes is refusing to say where this passage is in the book, but way down on the 19th floor we have a team of linguists frantically learning Finnish, so we’re hoping  to find out before too long.

In other news, Rhodes has set a promotional pretend pub quiz. If you get 10 out of 10 there’s a chance you’ll win a free copy of the book. As Rhodes will not receive royalties on any copies given on prizes, he has made sure one or two of the questions are properly hard. Click here to play the GOLD quiz.

In other competition news, the Waterstone’s Win Your Weight In ‘Gold’ competition has closed, with a staggering 10,000 people taking part (we’re not even joking – 10,000 people really entered). Hard luck to any morbidly obese entrants – the people who won a pound of money per pound of body weight came in at a respectable 180, 196 and 139lbs. Congratulations to them.

Tour Dates:

There’s nothing in the book at the moment. The early 2008 leg of Rhodes’ World tour has come to an end, following appearances in Manila, Glasgow, Laugharne and Edinburgh. Rhodes has exclusively contacted us and asked us to thank everyone who came along to these events. So that’s it for now. Officially he’s off the road until he’s finished writing his next book, but one or two more dates will probably sneak in before too long. We’ll be surprised if he doesn’t show his face at the Edinburgh Book Festival for a start, if only to get his hands on the free booze in the hospitality tent.

So what else has been going on in Rhodes’ world? We’ve been using the very latest surveillance technology to track his every movement, and we can report that since our last update he has:

• SOLVED the problem of his washing machine backing up into the dishwasher.
• DECLARED the best book he’s read so far this year to be Dial M For Merthyr by Rachel Trezise.
• MANAGED to recover all but one lot of £20 owed to him by his neighbours for getting a communal drain unblocked.
• FAILED to revive his touring partnership with DBC Pierre. Their dramatic reunion was scuppered by an administrative breakdown.
• OVERCOME the problem of having an unventilated toilet by installing one of these miraculous energy saving/air purifying/ionising lightbulbs.
• DECIDED that his Song of the Year so far is Blue Plastic Bags by Malcolm Middleton.
• RECONFIGURED his toilet seat in such a way that it now stays up.
• WRITTEN a reasonable amount of his new book. As he’s hoping to finish it this year, this can only be a good thing.

It’s photo time. If you’ve ever wondered what Rhodes looks like from below and from the side at the same time, you need wonder no more. Here he is at the Edinburgh launch of the Gold paperback upstairs at the Waverley:

He didn’t change out of that shirt for three days after this photo was taken. And here he is at the magnificent Laugharne Weekend, on his way to see Patti Smith, who was on fine form. But is he taking time out to relax? No he isn’t. Always on duty, he is deep in discussion with his Director of Global Expansion (excl. Canada & The Cayman Islands), Arthur Rhodes. We can’t say for sure, but it looks like they’re still thinking of ways to crack Albania.

That’s all for now. We’ll be back in a few weeks, possibly with a more extensive update of the whole site. But more likely we won’t get around to it. As Rhodes is currently in ‘writing’ mode, it’s safest to anticipate that the next update will be little more than a list of his further adventures in DIY. Until then, happy reading everybody.

OLD NEWS:

We promised we would be back in March with some momentous news, and when have we ever let you down?

Here goes:

GOLD has been published in a magnificent new paperback edition from Canongate. See above. It’s hitting the shops right now. Needless to say it’s a must buy for everyone (even, this time, people called Siân).

As if this wasn’t news enough, GOLD has been announced as the winner of The Clare Maclean Prize for Scottish Fiction. Having spent weeks practising his Gracious-in-Defeat face, Rhodes had not thought to spend any time on his Delighted Winner face, but he muddled through somehow. The other nominees were AL Kennedy, Alasdair Gray, Ali Smith, John Burnside and Iain Banks, all of whom will probably keep trading in spite of this setback. Read all about it here.

Tour Dates:

EDINBURGH: Thursday April 3rd. Rhodes will be launching the new paperback of Gold with a hometown reading upstairs at The Waverley on St Mary’s Street. It’s free to get in, but you’ll need to get a ticket from Waterstone’s at the east end of Princes Street, or by calling their non-demonic phone number: 0131 556 3034/5 (n.b. the demonic phone number that was up here was wrong – apparently everybody who called it was in fact voting for Suzanne Shaw to win Dancing on Ice, hence her victory). Tickets now available. Doors 7.30, showtime 7.45. Books will be on sale.

LAUGHARNE: Saturday 29th March at 1pm. This is part of the Laugharne Weekend, and will be alongside Rhodes’ old touring partner DBC Pierre, and Willy Vlautin. Other acts at the festival include Patti Smith, Patrick Wolf, Keith Allen, Morrissey’s best friend Mike Joyce, Helen Walsh, Niall Griffiths, Rachel Trezise, Tristan Hughes... The list goes on. Rhodes and pals will be followed on the big stage by Richard James, whose album The Seven Sleepers Den has recently been declared by Rhodes to be the finest of the entire extended Mynci canon. High praise indeed.

More dates to come as the year unfolds.

Also, Rhodes' publisher, Canongate, and his former employer, Waterstone's, have teamed up to give you the chance of winning your weight in ‘Gold’. If you’re super-morbidly-obese and feel like making an outrageous amount of free money click here. Or if you’re normal size and fancy making a more modest sum you could try too. Ends 7th April.

So what else has Rhodes been up to since our last update? Our network of informants tells us that he has:

• MADE his Asian reading debut, at Fully Booked in Manila. According to eye-witness reports it was a lot of fun. Read all about it here.
• SEEN Casiotone for the Painfully Alone (terrible name, wonderful music) at Nicensleazy in Glasgow. You can find some of their songs free and legally here. And there’s more on their own website.
• BOUGHT a ticket to see Leonard Cohen.
• FAILED to recover £40 of the £120 owed him by his neighbours for a communal drainage episode.
• WATCHED every episode of Flight of the Conchords, and very good it was too.
• MISSED the stage version of Don’t Tell Me the Truth About Love, which by all accounts was a resounding success. Bah.
• WRITTEN a bunch of stuff for his next book.

That’s all for now. We’ll be back in a few weeks. Maybe one day we’ll even get around to doing a proper spring clean of the site. We just don’t know.

Happy reading.

News & Tour Dates – January 2008



STOP PRESS

Here’s a quick late January update.

SHORTLIST FRENZY: Gold has been shortlisted for the inaugural Clare Maclean Prize. Click here to read all about it. Rhodes will be attending the ceremony at the Aye Write! Book Festival in Glasgow on 15th March. He will endeavour to maintain his composure as the prize is handed to somebody else.

DTMTTAL ON STAGE: E.U.T.C. have adapted a bunch of stories from Rhodes’ first book, Don’t Tell Me The Truth About Love. See the results at Bedlam Theatre in Edinburgh from 12th-16th Edinburgh. Details here. Next stop Broadway…

Since our last update, we can confirm that Rhodes has:

• HAD a haircut. And not before time.
• LOST his gym membership card.
• READ ‘The Best of Smash Hits: The 80s’ and declared it to be a work of wonder.

And that’s about it. He doesn’t get out much these days. Hopefully we’ll have more to report in our next update.

OK, after two updates in one month we’re off for a long lie down in a darkened room. I doubt very much we’ll be back before March, but when we are it will be with all kinds of monumental news.

Happy reading, everybody. Here’s the real January update:

Hello everybody. First things first - don’t forget that Gold is still very much available. The US edition has just had a glowing review by Eric Banks in the New York Times Book Review. “Laconic and likable,” he says. “Affecting and affectionate”. All good stuff. We even learned a new word – “analeptic”. If you’re still not convinced, you can read your way through a mountain of further praise for it right here.

More news below, but first:

2008 Tour Dates:

After a hectic 2007 Rhodes could be forgiven for spending the whole of 2008 slumped on his sofa watching and re-watching the Sabrina The Teenage Witch Season Two box set he got for Christmas. But no, he is a human dynamo and has already announced an astonishing two new dates. They are:

9th February at 4pm: PHILIPPINES. Fully Booked, Bonifacio High Street, Metro Manila. Rhodes will be kicking off his 2008 tour with his first ever reading in The Philippines. Make sure you don’t miss this historic event. At the time of writing we are unable to confirm the rumour that if this reading goes well Rhodes will start thinking seriously about running for president.

29/30th March: WALES. The Laugharne Weekend. Yes, Rhodes will be back in Laugharne. Glory be! His precise slot will be confirmed closer to the time, but it’s looking set to be the UK debut of his borderline-legendary touring partnership with DBC Pierre. They could well be joined by Willy Vlautin out of Richmond Fontaine. But maybe not. Anything could happen. Other acts will include Patti Smith, Helen Walsh and stacks of others. We’re hoping Richard James will be back, as he was magnificent last year, despite having just accidentally almost killed a dog. The full programme will be up soon, and tickets are available via Ticketweb from February 8th.

More dates will be announced as the year unfolds.

Other News:

Edinburgh-dwelling Rhodes finished the year in a blaze of glory, being chosen by the Sunday Herald as one of Scotland’s Brightest and Best in an eccentrically punctuated supplement. So what has he been up to apart from defining nations? Since the last update he has:

• SEEN the first foreign language edition of Gold published by our friends at De Bezige Bij in the Netherlands. Click here to see how his name has been reversed in an attempt to appeal to the Dutch market. If this works, maybe in the future he will publish everywhere as Rhodes Dan. More foreign editions to follow – watch this space.

• RECOMMENDED a bunch of books in an end of year round up. They were Death of a Murderer by Rupert Thomson, Eye Mind – Paul Drummond’s book about Roky Erickson and the Thirteenth Floor Elevators and, somewhat predictably, Rhapsody by Dorothy Edwards. Rhapsody is at last out in a new edition, complete with material unseen for decades. If you like reading exemplary books, which you do, you should buy it here right now, and marvel at the quote from Rhodes which is punctuated in such a way as to make it seem as if Rhodes himself, and not the book, is funny, creepy and strangely beautiful. Not a bad description, now we come to think about it.

• REQUIRED hospital treatment after slicing his thumb open on a tin can at the recycling banks at B&Q. There was blood everywhere. Rhodes has been officially recognised as an Eco Martyr, and is currently waiting to find out if he is eligible for a grant from the Al Gore Foundation.

• FOUND OUT that Faber & Faber have cursed the new Amelie Nothomb book, Sulphuric Acid, with an unauthorised quote from him taken from something he wrote about her a while back. Beware of this – Rhodes was recently overheard saying that he thinks Sulphuric Acid lacks Nothomb’s usual lightness of touch and is a bit on the dreary side. This is NOT a first degree recommendation. He remains a fan though, and is looking forward to her next one. She probably just needs a holiday.

• SPENT a day on his knees scooping gallon after gallon of his neighbours’ dirty water into a bucket with a tupperware pot as it backed up into his flat. William Boyd would just have got one of his footmen to do this, but not Rhodes – he keeps it real. Ever tried finding a plumber in a hurry in the days before Christmas?

• LOST his no claims bonus and a bunch of money after someone drove into his car and sped away somewhere near Kegworth. This is good news for us – our team of hackers way down on the fourteenth floor have told us that his bank account is in a sorry state. Hopefully these mishaps will force him to pull his finger out and finish his next book.

• FAILED to send anything like an acceptable amount of Christmas cards. He didn’t even send us one this year.

• FINISHED the 2007 leg of his Tour Without End at the always excellent Crossing Border festival in The Hague. Rhodes wound things up in his customary style by loudly singing selections from the REO Speedwagon songbook in a hotel bar.

• WRITTEN quite a lot. This is a surprising development. Sources close to Rhodes say that he is hoping to finish his next book in 2008 and get it in the shops in 2009. However, seasoned Rhodes-watchers will know not to hold their breath. Rumours are also spreading that this next book is likely to be just as professionally suicidal as ever. We can’t wait!

Finally, a recent photograph of the author has come to light, in which he can be seen deep in discussion with Dan Rhodes PLC’s new Director of Global Expansion (excl. Canada and the Cayman Islands), Arthur Rhodes. Here they seem to be brainstorming strategies for cracking the all-important Albanian market on what appears to be a corporate team-building orienteering weekend:

We’ll be back in a few weeks with more news, tour dates and, if we can get our act together (which is unlikely), updates of some of the dustier corners of this here site.

OLD NEWS:

Welcome to the October update. Without further ado, this is what has been going on in Rhodes’ world over the last few weeks. He has:

• SEEN Gold published in the US by Canongate Books. It’s been described by Publishers Weekly as “An immaculately crafted story” and we agree.

• PAINTED his sitting room and kitchen. Although open plan they are wildly different colours, so we are prepared to count them as two rooms. The sitting room required an astonishing five coats to turn it from red to yellow. FIVE. Rhodes has now decorated his entire flat.

• REALISED he hasn’t had a dream about Ken Dodd for several months.

• CAUGHT a cold.

• HAD stories from Anthropology hung on giant boards all over the Small Wonder short story festival at Charleston for the second year running. Sadly he wasn’t able to attend this year.

• MADE his first ever visit to Teesdale, where he walked in the footsteps of Wackford Squeers.

• WRITTEN a small amount. Our teams of hackers way down on the fourteenth floor have managed to find their way into his laptop and have viewed his work in progress, and while not giving anything away they have confirmed that at present it is something of a dog’s dinner. That puts paid to our hopes of a new book coming out in 2008.

Anniversary

As you probably already know, October 17th marks the tenth anniversary of the day a relatively fresh-faced Rhodes wrote the first story for his overlooked masterpiece Anthropology. In those days Rhodes lived a glamorous life, and this story was written while he was on a public bus from Kon Tum to Danang in Vietnam. To celebrate this momentous landmark we sent a pair of our in-house cat burglars, both of them dressed in very tight outfits, to see if they could find the first draft of this important piece of literary history. Here’s what they came back with:

Good job girls. Although this was written on a bus, we can confirm that this is, unbelievably, Rhodes’ normal handwriting. We have no idea why the girl was originally called Melanie, but we do know that Rhodes was not satisfied with this, and asked his Danish consultant Rikke Prenter to suggest a commonplace Danish name, which she did (Mette). After looking on a map, Horsham (why Horsham, a town Rhodes has never visited? We will probably never know) was moved (after him having earlier tried and rejected Cordoba) to Ulfborg, and the story attained the veneer of North European glamour that has seen it become a classic – at least among us lot. Anthropology has, alas, never been published in Denmark, but stories from it do appear in a school textbook there – Danish teens are learning English the Rhodes way, which can only be a good thing. More Anthropology action can be found right here.

News for shareholders:

Dan Rhodes PLC has announced the appointment of a new Director of Global Expansion (excl. Canada & the Cayman Islands), Arthur Rhodes. At a recent press conference Rhodes was quick to laugh off any accusations of nepotism in this appointment, saying that he had no idea whether he and the new Director of Global Expansion (excl. Canada & the Cayman Islands) were related – all he knew was that Arthur Rhodes came to his post with an impressive range of skills and experience, that he had read ‘Who Moved My Cheese?’ and ‘What Color Is Your Parachute?’, and that he was clearly the right person to lead Dan Rhodes PLC into the challenges of the global market place (excl. Canada & the Cayman Islands).

This official photograph shows the two of them having an informal meeting at Rhodes’ home:

The larger Rhodes was later seen dandling his new colleague upon his knee, affectionately pinching his cheek, pulling faces at him, and at one point even changing his nappy.

Note the frankly exemplary shelving-in-progress in the background. Three spirit levels are visible, but we can confirm that this does NOT constitute Rhodes’ complete spirit level collection. Do you know of an author with more spirit levels than Dan Rhodes? We thought not – only Simon Crump comes close.

That’s all for now. We’re going to try to get an end of year round up posted by the end of the year, but maybe we won’t get around to it. We just don’t know.

Happy reading, everybody..

Welcome to the September update - particularly to all US readers of GOLD, which is published by Canongate Books this month. It’s already been described by Publishers Weekly as "An immaculately crafted story" and we agree.

With no update for the whole of August, you have probably been thinking that Rhodes has been doing nothing but lying around his flat watching episode after episode of Beavis and Butthead on DVD. If so you are half right, but there have been one or two other things happening in his world. Since our last update he has:

• STORMED Hollywood. It’s official - Timoleon Vieta Come Home has hit the silver screen. Sadly this does not mean that Pedro Almodovar has, at last, been returning Rhodes’ calls. But it’s the next best thing – we can at last confirm that about forty-something minutes into this year’s comedy smash "Knocked Up", a copy of the novel plays a pivotal role. Industry insiders attribute 15-20% of the film’s critical and commercial success to the book’s appearance. We all fainted with excitement when we saw it, so have no idea how the film ends, but we can assure you it’s a Must See. And Pedro, we know you read this site – isn’t it time you got your act together?

• APPEARED in a three page spread in the Russian edition of Men’s Health magazine. Anyone who has seen Rhodes’ rippling physique will be unsurprised by this.

• FAILED to make the deadline for a short piece of writing asked of him by his Finnish publisher.

• PAINTED his hall the exact same colour as the back cover of the current paperback edition of Wearing Dad’s Head by Barry Yourgrau. This is believed to be the world’s first ever Barry Yourgrau Appreciation Hallway. Rhodes’ hall is not large, but it does have six doors leading off it, two meter cupboards, two light switches, a smoke alarm and an entryphone, so it was a tricky job requiring a steady hand.

• MADE his fourth appearance at the Edinburgh Book Festival. This time he did not disgrace himself with a pumpkin.

• LOST his rag with a spectacularly unreliable builder – surely a symptom of the onset of middle age?

• CHANGED his first nappy, and many, many subsequent nappies.

• PUT UP a further twenty-five feet of shelving since our last update. This is still not adequate though, so anticipate further shelving news in our next bulletin. We have now lost track of how many trips he has made to B&Q. Sorry about that.

• SEEN the film version of The Little White Car take a confident stride towards production. Hmmm…

• WRITTEN almost nothing

BITS OF EVEN OLDER OLD NEWS:

With no update for the whole of June, you could be forgiven for thinking that all has been quiet in Rhodes’ world. However, we are delighted to tell you that this has not been the case. Our team of researchers way down on the nineteenth floor can confirm that in the last few weeks Rhodes has:

• MADE his coffee table debut, appearing in How I Write: The Secret Lives of Authors. Edited by Dan Crowe & Philip Oltermann, and published by Rizzoli, this handsome volume is a must-read for anyone who wants to find out what Rhodes used to do with his socks when they weren’t on his feet.

• SEEN Timoleon Vieta Come Home published by our friends Sammakko in Finland, and The Little White Car published by Miskal in Israel.

• BORED a Hay audience to tears by evangelising about Rhapsody by Dorothy Edwards. However, we have read it and can confirm that he is right – it is one of the best books ever, so why not order your copy right now?

• GONE to his local B&Q for DIY supplies over twenty times.

• PERSUADED Helen Oyeyemi to give him her entire fee from a reading they did together.

• POSTPONED an event in Hull because of the wretched weather making the journey impossible. He made it as far as Edinburgh Waverley but got turned back. Bah. This will be rescheduled. Apologies to anyone who canoed over to the venue only to be disappointed.

• PUT UP sixty feet of shelving.

• STORMED Hollywood. Rhodes is nothing if not box office dynamite, and rumours have reached us of a cameo appearance by a copy of Timoleon Vieta Come Home in the book store scene in this summer’s comedy smash KNOCKED UP. It’s not opened here in Taipei yet so we can’t verify this, but if it’s true Rhodes will be able to add this to such screen triumphs as having a copy of Anthropology on Carrie Bradshaw’s desk, and singing a heartfelt rendition of Broken Wings by Mister Mister on Croatian television.

• WRITTEN very little.

And yes, GOLD is a beauty, and is available from all good book shops throughout the British Isles. The Canongate US publication is scheduled for September, with more foreign editions to come – watch this space...

We’ve read it and we love it. But what do other people think? Let’s see (n.b. some of the linked full reviews give away the ending, so click with caution):

"Both hilarious and acutely affecting, perhaps even profound. *****"
INDEPENDENT ON SUNDAY. (Full five star review here)

"Smashing. Dan Rhodes comes close to perfecting the fragile balance of sadness and humour that has marked out his books as special for some time. This is a damn funny book… had me snorting like a hippo in mud."
SUNDAY HERALD. (Full review here)

"In all his books there beats a heart so sweet that to encounter it can be painful; this hones even further the razor edges of heartbreak when they inevitably come. Absolutely flawless comic writing – Gold is original, fresh and funny."
THE OBSERVER. (Full glowing review here).

"Laugh out loud funny. An amusing, original read – we recommend it."
HEAT (see below).

"This is a heartbreaking comic gem, with real pathos lurking underneath."
SUNDAY BUSINESS POST

"Oh, how we love Dan Rhodes…. Reliably odd but fabulous"
THE GUARDIAN (The Measure - see below).

"Literary novels can be a pain, but Dan Rhodes’ Gold brings nothing but blissful relief… Rhodes creates a remarkably full and convincing universe in a book that is less than two hundred pages long. Couched in perfect prose, and full of beautifully-pitched character writing (who but Rhodes can weave so seamlessly the hilarious and the pathetic, in its best sense?), Gold is a great and deceptively wise little book. Read it. *****"
THE SKINNY (The genius Michael Gallagher’s full five star review can be found HERE.)

"Welcome to the world of Dan Rhodes, a literary destination full of curiosities… It’s difficult enough to write funnily, but to achieve what Rhodes does here and effortlessly sustain immaculate comic timing throughout a novel – well, that’s just rude. What could have been merely an amusing tale of Welsh country life acquires a touching depth as unexpected tragedy seeps through. *****" Five stars from TIME OUT

"Both affectionate and richly humorous." 3:AM MAGAZINE. (Full review here).

Of course these reviews don’t give the complete picture. Inevitably the book has fallen into the hands of a few dim bulbs who Just Don’t Get It. We have collected a few of the more dismal reviews and posted them HERE. This site has an unashamedly pro-Rhodes bias, but it is only fair for us to warn you that if you’re a bit thick and have neither taste nor a sense of humour, then there’s a strong possibility that you won’t enjoy his books.

We’ll be back with a further update in a few weeks. Happy reading, and maybe we’ll even see you at one of the events. As always, if you see several hundred upsettingly beautiful 18-23 year old Taiwanese girls down the front, that’ll be us. Come and say hi!

In the meantime, please have a look around our reinvigorated site. There is now more content than is really necessary, but we have to fill our days somehow. The most useful innovation is that details of all the known editions of Rhodes’ books are now up. Click on a title to find out if it’s available in a language near you.


EMBARRASSINGLY OLD NEWS:

Want to hear Rhodes go on and on about nothing much? Why not read the interview he did with Dan Coxon for 3:AM magazine? It’s HERE.

And HERE he is expounding his latest half-baked theory…

This has been a relatively event-heavy few months for Rhodes. So far this tour he has:

• WATCHED the starlings flying over Aberystwyth pier.
• ALIENATED his few remaining supporters in the book trade by hosting a drunken pub quiz that they didn’t win.
• READ the sweary passage from Gold at The Boogaloo alongside PAUL EWEN.
• ENJOYED Avenue Q.
• STAYED in Room 101 at the St. Clears Travelodge.
• LISTENED in wonder to the magnificent RICHARD JAMES, who sounds even better live than on record (but who needs to update his web site more often so people can find out in advance where he’s playing).
• ATTENDED the triumphant LAUGHARNE WEEKEND in Wales, where he read in the corner of a village pub with Patrick McCabe.
• DISGRACED himself on the Radio Wales Breakfast Show.
• CHANGED trains at Crewe.

Rhodes has exclusively contacted us and asked us to pass on his thanks to everybody who has come along to the events so far, and his apologies to everybody whose books he has defaced with his amateurish scribblings.

Here he is in The Guardian Magazine’s ‘The Measure’ column. We agree – Dan Rhodes is much, much better than lip gloss. Not that we’ve ever needed to wear it – our lips are naturally soft, shiny and supple.

And look – according to HEAT magazine, Rhodes is almost as good a writer as Jordan. This is something we’ve always thought, so it’s great to have it officially confirmed.
Gold spent an unprecedented entire month in Heat’s Top 10.

And Rhodes’ mother can at last hold her head up high as she walks down the street. Her son has, at last, made his debut in Good Housekeeping:

Rhodes has clearly been busy these last few weeks, but has he had time to relax? Well, apparently he has. We were delighted to be sent this photo of him enjoying himself at Popjustice Live as he listens to the music of his joint favourite pop star Siobhan Donaghy:

Rhodes was overheard saying that he thought Swedish support act BWO (Bodies Without Organs) could well be the saviours of pop. Watch their performance that very night right HERE to see if you agree. We do!

The British edition of GOLD has a mild case of first-edition-itis – a problem which afflicts many books. The trouble is that the name Siân has been printed as Sîan throughout. However, after some tense arbitration the Rhodes camp has finally reached a financially crippling settlement with the National Union of Siâns, so hopefully we will now all be able to put this behind us and move on. And besides, it’s glitches like this that make first editions valuable, so we recommend you order several copies right now – they’ll become heirlooms.

In other news, The Little White Car has been adapted for the silver screen by Neal Purvis & Robert Wade – the writers of, among many other things, Casino Royale. More news on this as it breaks.